


Infinity Wars Cameos

by AgentofLADON



Category: Community (TV), Japanese Spiderman, Married With Children, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 20:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16226801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentofLADON/pseuds/AgentofLADON
Summary: Some scenes from Infinity Wars with various characters inserted. Thanos faces difficulties in his quest for the stones. Feedback and comments would be much welcome, it's how I'll improve.





	Infinity Wars Cameos

**Al Bundy**

 

Sanctuary II approached Nidavellir. The dwarves manning the forges let their tools fall silent. Thanos had returned intending to claim the weapon he had commissioned them to build, the fate of their race in the balance should they fail or even if they succeeded. Cull Obsidian had stayed behind to prevent the smiths from evacuating the forge, saying little except for the occasional grunts but always ready to lash out with his chain axe at the first sight of any rebellion. In fact it was enough of a risk that Eitri had constructed a mould only worked on in secret, to cast a weapon to be held by the greatest of Gods and able to slay even the Mad Titan. For now though he couldn't even risk forging the weapon in case Thanos or his Black Order noticed.

The Titan strode out of a transporter beam, flanked by the Maw who was already announcing his masters will. Thanos moved straight towards the smith who had been put in charge of crafting his weapon, a gauntlet built to hold the Infinity Stones and able to harness the power without tearing the wielder apart. The smith was chosen because forging a gauntlet was similar to his previous task, to shoe the mounts of the large and ungrateful (sometimes shoeing the large ones themselves)

"This is my gauntlet?" Thanos tore the item from the fires, inspecting it before it cooled and frowning at the fact that it was barely big enough to fit his smallest finger. "This was to fit my hand."

"Well you asked me to build it for a hand." The smith, the one called Bundy, spoke casually with one hand tucked down his belt. "But what we have here is five eggplants attached to a ham that's been glazed in grape jelly."

Maw suddenly stopped addressing the dwarves, stunned by the disrespectful tone. Occasionally there would be a few fools who would dare to attack his master but they just attempted to stab him in the back and would be cut down by Proxima or Corvus. This insult was unheard of however. Even Ronan didn't dare show his spite for Thanos until he had an Infinity Stone to back up his words.

"If you don't steady your insolent tongue you and your race will be scoured from the universe." Maw snapped, for once losing his temper.

"Scouring huh?" Bundy was undeterred. "With that chin you've probably gotten pretty good at scouring. I'd invite you back to try out our pots in the mess but I'm worried you'd get sidetracked by our meat locker. We only have enough to feed a couple of hundred and your kid there already porked his way through the desserts for the next hundred cycles."

"Silence." Thanos spoke raising his fist and charging up a fistful of his great powers, converting ambient energy in the area into a handful of superheated plasma.

"and it looks like Shamu is getting ready to make a splash. I played high school football, I know the score."

As Bundy squared up to Thanos unblinking in the face of incoming death Maw levitated himself to address the others.

"Hear me and rejoice! You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan."

"Fresh from his lunch of many Great Pie Tins."

"You may think this is suffering. No... it is salvation."

"Salvation from listening to the Cryptkeepers Grandma do this speech?"

"The universal scales tip toward balance because of your sacrifice."

"and Thanos bathroom scales tip towards 'Holy Mama what a fat butt'."

"Smile... for even in death, you have become children of Thanos."

"In which case we demand a paternity test."

and so began the great massacre of Nidavellir. Thanos would eventually force Eitri to complete his weapon before wiping out the other half of the dwarves and crushing the hands of the last survivor to prevent the construction of something equal to the gauntlet. As for Bundy, even the power of the Mad Titan and a gauntlet full of Infinity Stones was not enough to conquer the Bundy Curse, casting the man who stood up to Thanos somewhere else in the multiverse to humble the wide of girth as he crafted footwear for them.

 

**Ben Chang**

 

The Space Stone deposited Thanos and Gamora on Vormir, on a path leading up a mountain towards where the Soul Stone lay. While she had broken on seeing Nebula tortured and gave up the location of this world, Gamora held out hope that the Stonekeeper would be able to stop Thanos in some way. Legend held that he was a blood faced conqueror from another world who had been stranded here as punishment for misusing one of the Infinity Stones and the experience had stranded him without his armies, technology or any other resources. The experience must have humbled him, surely he'd do something to stop the Mad Titan.

A figure in a black robe drifted down the path to meet them, suddenly flipping back his hood and laughing. A harsh, grating cackle.

"You're not the Stonekeeper." Gamora spoke confused.

"Oh but I am! Disappointed?" He laughed some more. "Did you expect me to stay the same forever? Because that's not what Stonekeepers do baby."

He floated closer, waving his finger at the two visitors.

"I'mma deep fry ya dog and eat ya mama's face." He turned to Thanos. "and I'll wear your little brothers skin like pajamas!"

The Stonekeeper dropped to the ground his face suddenly going stern. "I control your lives. and there is nothing you can do!"

".......I'm going to kill this fool."

"Bring it on Grimace!"

Thanos lunged forwards, pinning the Stonekeeper down and hammering both fists down onto him. Gamora considered running, but was entranced by the pure insanity of the moment, especially as the Stonekeeper just kept screaming 'Is that all you got?'.


End file.
